Christmas can feel magical. The lights, the sparkle, the build up, the excitement in the air. For many children and families, there is genuine joy in the rituals, the decorations, the music and the sense that something special is happening.
And yet, Christmas can also come with a lot of pressure.
Pressure to be happy.
Pressure to be grateful.
Pressure to be fabulous, sparkly and coping.
At Little Wings, we often notice that even when something is good, exciting and wanted, it can still feel overwhelming. Two things can be true at the same time. You can love Christmas and still find it hard.
The pressure of "special"
At Christmas, routines change. Days look different. There may be more people, more noise, more expectations and more emotional intensity. Children often pick up on the grown ups stress too, even when everyone is trying their best to keep things cheerful.
This kind of pressure does not always show up as words. It might show up as irritability, tearfulness, silliness, withdrawal or big feelings that seem to come out of nowhere. For some children, the pressure to be excited or thankful can make it even harder to say "I am struggling".
A special word for "I need a pause"
One gentle strategy that can really help is agreeing on a special word or phrase that means "I am finding this hard and I need some time out".
This is not about getting out of things altogether. It is about giving children a safe, respectful way to communicate their needs without having to explain everything in the moment.
The word can be anything neutral or playful. Something that does not draw attention or require a long conversation. When the word is used, it signals that a pause is needed.
Importantly, this word works best when it is agreed in advance and responded to calmly. It helps children feel heard rather than pushed through.
Planning gentle breaks
Breaks do not have to be big or dramatic to be effective. Small, predictable pauses can make a huge difference.
Some ideas include:
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A short walk to the post box
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Stepping into the garden to do some digging, watering or noticing nature
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Helping with a simple job away from the main activity
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A drive to get something that is needed (remembering everything is closed on Christmas day).
These moments help the nervous system settle. They offer space to breathe and reset before returning to the busyness of Christmas.
Communicating plans and offering small choices
Another helpful support is letting children know what is going to happen and when. Christmas can feel especially overwhelming when plans are unclear or keep changing.
Sharing simple, honest plans can help children feel more settled and secure. This might sound like explaining what the day will look like, who will be there, or what will happen next, without overloading them with detail.
Alongside this, offering small choices can help children feel a sense of control and agency during a busy time. These choices do not need to be big to matter.
For example:
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Would you like to turn left or right on our walk?
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Do you want to sit here or over there?
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Can you choose some music to play?
When children feel included and informed, it can reduce anxiety and support emotional regulation. Small choices send a powerful message: your needs matter, and you have some say in what happens.
Sparkle and safety
Christmas does not need to be perfect to be meaningful. Children do not need constant sparkle, its ok to focus on emotional safety, flexibility and permission to feel however they feel.
Noticing pressure, naming it gently and making room for breaks can help Christmas feel more manageable and more kind.
Wishing you a Christmas with enough magic and enough pauses too.
Frankie
Little Wings Play Therapy
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